the end of a chapter

the end of a chapter: A Brand New Beginning

it was 5.10am. the first 3 chords of James Blunt’s “You’re Beautiful” rang in my ear and I instinctively reached for my handphone. It was YN giving me a wake up call. He said, “get ready… be there in ten minutes”.

The seconds are looming closer. The moment I had dreaded for many months is now just a couple of hours from becoming a reality.

I cleaned up and changed. It was just minutes before YN was already downstairs. WE made our way over to G’s. He greeted us at the door with a firm handshake. The bitter reality is beginning to cause a stir in my heart. This is it. This will probably be the last time YN, G and I stood together at the porch of his house sharing “everything and nothing” for a very long time.

Honestly, I wanted to reverse the hands of time so we’d have a bit longer to just chill. I wished that I hadn’t had work for the entire week before today so we could just goof off til it was time to go. I hated that feeling that went through me this morning. I wanted to just leave. I was not used to the overflow of emotions. I’ve hidden them real well for these good 2-3 years. But I truly couldn’t keep it in today. So I guess I’m not as tough as I like to portray myself to be.

Just as we decided it was time to make our journey to the airport, G headed our direction and it seemed as though he had wanted to travel with us for the last time. But, alas, I told him it was better he rode with his family. The entire way to “the place of goodbyes” was rather silent. Both YN and I knew it within ourselves that a BIG piece of us are going away today. Something I was always and had always been afraid to accept… The selfish beast in me had always wished he needn’t leave for abroad, though I knew it was for the best. He was the life in the group. The glue that held all of us together. And now he needs to leave. Fuck, I hate that.

ALisan’s favourite son was going to further his studies in Northern Arizona, in the LAND OF THE FREE, AND THE HOME OF THE BRAVE.  

When we reached the airport, the 3 of us marched  hand-in-hand together up to the departure hall. The rest of the gang were already there waiting to see him off. They sat there waiting for him to complete checking in while I tagged along watching him complete the formalities. IT was then I realized how much love I had for this guy.

Man, how could one not love him? He’s simply the most thoughtful big fella one would ever meet. He’s generous and is full of giving. My relationship with Hanna often had a third party. And that would be ol’ G. If not for him, there’d be plenty of fuck-ups by the sponge that’ll continue to go unfixed. I really don’t now how to describe how much he had contributed to me, my family and Hanna, especially these past 3 years. I needed, and wanted to tell him “thank you”. And hug him real tightly. But how do I do that without losing control of my emotions? It’s not cool to do so, innit?

We finished our last breakfast together at McD’s so much sooner than I’d like. Shared a few laughs, and before you knew it was time for him to go through the departure gate. We all made a semi-circle to all wish him farewell and some other personal exchanges (bodily fluid not included!). I kept on moving further and further down the row as I was fighting hard to keep in the tears. I didn’t want to ruin his moment. But within a strike of a lightning, it was my turn to bid him adieu. All I could muster was “thanks for everything, mate!”.

And with that he took leave and didn’t turn back no matter how we tried to get his attention. G is going to the United States where he will find his success. He will return. And we’d be at alisan waiting for his return. Just as usual.

G, miss you already.

Love, B.